A New York Story – Part One

I break my writers block induced absence to report on my trip to New York.  I finally made it to the States where some of my dearest acquaintances here reside.  Firstly I must apologise to not arranging to meet any of you who live there, we all talked about it way back but it came around so suddenly that I was ill prepared.   I swear I’ll be back once I ask your lovely Homeland Security for a new visa.

I thought it was going to wrenched from my grasp though when I was detained at the border, the reason I had a special visa  presumably raising alarm bells warranting further examination.   So I was led away to a room with other undesirables as we waited for additional scrutinisation.  I passed with flying colours luckily and I was eventually free to step foot on your land after I promised not to try to take you back under British control.

I arrived in the lovely state of New Jersey at Newark airport where I took the train to Penn station, there was a lovely conductor who upon my querying if I needed to keep my ticket for arrival at the station said “No, America is a free country”  How delightful!

I emerged at the station to a cacophony of honking horns and sirens, this was what I had dreamed of, a mental metropolis to surpass London.   I was outside Madison Square Garden which was adorned with billboards for some of your peculiar sports.   I joined the ranks for the taxi cabs to whisk me to my destination in the East Village.   I blissfully listened to the sound of people shouting at each other through car windows and spied a lady carrying a pizza box which I estimated was about 50 inches in diameter, finishing the last slice and depositing it a trash can.   What a welcome NYC!

I expertly gave my address how I had read about, street first then avenue so I sounded like a seasoned pro, and be damned quick about it sir I added.  I was quickly acclimatizing to New York speak.

I arrived in the East Village to collect my apartment keys from a cafe, I ordered a latte while I waited, my head spinning from the milk options I could choose from, just the one that comes from a cow I replied.   My coffee never materialised.

Armed with my keys I swept round the corner to my apartment to prepare for my week ahead.





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